Dutch Anniversary
One Art
Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.
–Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
It has been officially one year since I have made the life-changing move to the Netherlands. To commemorate my first year in the Netherlands (as well as optimistically the end of my quarter life crisis), I thought it was most appropriate to reflect on Elizabeth Bishop’s poem, “One Art”.
On the surface, Bishop’s famous poem “One Art” is about graciously practicing the act of loss, the forfeiture of sentimental attachments associated with loss–from the mundane to those closely guarded by one’s own beating heart. By mastering the art of loss, and consequently recognizing life’s imperfections, one empowers him/herself from grief. Arguably the most seductive aspect of Bishop’s poem is how the stanzas articulate the tension between the conscious discipline one exerts in life (nonchalantly accepting loss) and the unforeseen, uncontrollable forces of fate (circumstance).
Upon closer inspection, one awakens to the realization that this villanelle, confined to one of the strictest verse forms, could barely restrain the grief that permeates throughout the lines. In the final quatrain, a soliloquy unfolds rendering the author and the reader vulnerable to breaking down with grief. The deliberately chosen syntax unmasks the pain associated with a profound loss, defiantly suppressing the anxiety of losing “you” till the very end.
Elizabeth Bishop’s “One Art” poignantly illustrates the human experience of loss and gracefully touches the anxiety of losing what one hold’s closest to his/her heart. More often than not, readers relate to the “you” as a loss of a loved one. From the perspective of an expatriate living in the Netherlands, I suggest that “One Art” courageously tackles the dread of losing one’s own self.
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of living an expatriate life in the Netherlands is to never lose sight of who “you” really are, what matters most to you, and what kind of person you want to become.
The anxiety of dealing with culture shock and (perhaps consequently) feelings of being powerless can render one to be bitter and to book a ticket home as soon as humanly possible. Never in my life (having lived in the Philippines, Northern California, and the East Coast) had I had to deal with such a propensity for inexcusable rudeness, impolite directness, suffocating thrift and unwarranted envy. Even the heavily enforced tax system strategically punishes hard work and sacrifice.
“There but for the Grace of God go I”. I know who I am. I refuse to become bitter and angry, never to loose sight of who I am, where I come from and where I want to be. And if I ever lose sight of who I am, that my friends, would be such a disaster!
Reflecting on my previous blog posts throughout the year, it is quite apparent that I have constantly struggled to find happiness in the Low Country and have often reverted back to criticism. I have finally found my peace and am ready to fully embrace life in the Netherlands with more patience and a stronger back bone. In other words, I am so done with the bitching.
Now a “seasoned” blogger and Dutch expat, I would like to make this blog more of a survival guide and contemplate about personal observations of specific Dutch cultural traits and traditions. Perhaps it may help fellow expats find happiness in the Low Country.
I look forward for you to join me in this new journey.
May 3rd, 2008 at 10:46 pm
This post is a great summary of your thoughts and feelings over the last year. I, myself, have been wanting to write a post like this…but I can’t seem to. at least, not yet. I still feel that I’m not completely settled down here; not completely satisfied; finding that there are still a lot of missing pieces to my puzzled life.
May 14th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I must say it is hard to believe that you have been gone a year. I miss you terribly but am glad to read the change from the beginning of your adventure until now. I have more to say but in another space… I’ll go to Sabrina’s and think of you and know that you are well and happy.