For anyone considering a full Roman Catholic mass and incorporating Filipino wedding traditions, the actual order may be a bit confusing and possibly overwhelming. If you’re just like me, you’ll probably find yourself scrambling to call relatives, the officiating priest, and the world-wide web about all the details. As I alluded to in my earlier post, Filipino Catholic Wedding Traditions (I), you’ll soon realize that its very much imbedded with a lot of pomp and circumstance. In fact, you’ll also realize sooner or later that a lot of Filipino traditions are actually open to interpretation, but the most important aspect is the extensive involvement of your family and closest friends in the actual ceremony itself.  Underlying all the logistics, everyone comes to one resounding conclusion: “It’s a family affair“

(Image from Paul Vincent)

Here is a working example of the order of events in a Filipino Catholic wedding ceremony:
* Opening Logistics
* Introduction
* Pledge Of Support
* Lighting of the tapers (Parents or Candle Sponsors)
* First Reading
* Responsorial Psalm
* Second Reading
* Gospel
* Homily
* Pinning of the Veil
* Placing of the Cord
* Exchange of Vows
* Blessing of the Rings
* Removal of the Cord and Veil
* Coin Ceremony
* Lighting of the Unity Candle (the bride and groom)
* Charge to the Couple
* Prayer
* First Communion
* Lord’s Prayer
* Sign of Peace
* Music & Bouquet Offering to the Virgin Mary
* Pronouncement as Husband & Wife
* Benediction
* Closing and Presentation

Are any of you also doing a Filipino Catholic mass? Are any of the orders different? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Helpful posts regarding Filipino Catholic Wedding traditions:

Filipino Catholic Wedding Traditions I (Godparents, Veil, Cord, Candle)
Filipino Catholic Wedding Traditions II (Coins)

I’ve recently discovered that random people are actually reading and appreciating my blog.  This morning I woke up with a pleasant surprise by being bestowed the “Kreativ Blogger Award” by Sebrina from Miskado’s Journey Down The Aisle.  Thank-you for the nomination-your encouragement via the blogging world is much appreciated!

My curiosity got the best of me and I spent the earlier part of the afternoon figuring out the origins of the “Kreativ Blogger Award”. It wasn’t too long before trusty google led me to a very creative Norwegian lady named Hulda. Her design of the Kreativ Blogger patch can be found on her blog, Husfraus Memoarer,  in a May 8, 2008 post:

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the original image was not computer generated, but rather made from pieces of scrap paper. She gave it to her sister and three other blogging friends whom she considered to be very creative. Hulda also left it open for them to pass it forward, simply saying ” It is nice if you justify why you think this person is creative/a creative blogger when you give it further” Over a year later, the Kreativ Blogger patch extended beyond arts and crafts, encompassing almost all creative outlets-photography, cooking, literature and even wedding planning.

I have to confess that the other underlying reason why I wanted to find its origins was that the “rules” associated with the Kreativ Blogger logo hinted at being a digital chain letter.  I personally dislike forwarding self-promoting chain letters and did not want to further clutter the world with spam.

(The alternative image created by someone else, with “award” added”)

Here are the “rules” for your personal reference:
1. You must thank the person who has given you the award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link the person who has nominated you for the award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.
5. Nominate 7 other Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on which of the blogs to let them know they have been nominated.

Forgive the developing skeptic in me–I consider it part of my inburgering (Dutch integration) in the Netherlands.  Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise to have been given this acknowledgment by a fellow blogger, allowing me to be part of the greater blogging community and to share in that feel-good feeling of being recognized.

I would like to stray away from the chain-letteresque rules and rather in the spirit of the original designer, simply acknowledge people who I find “creative” in the blogging world and provide a reason as to why (in no particular order):

Celebrating Life (MB Wedding and Designs) Perhaps you can call me biased, but Michelle has truly mastered the art of  “eye-candy”.  She’s not only a talented wedding planner and event designer, but genuinely passionate about her work and all aspects in celebrating life- food, travel, photography, flowers, love, personal development, community awareness, etc.  Even if you are not wedding planning, if you ever need to find daily inspiration, check out her site.

Pamcakes Pam is everything and more that you can imagine from someone born and raised in New York–interesting, strong personality, beautiful, down-to earth, worldly, open-minded, out-going, honest.  The world is truly her playground and she really lives. Perhaps you can even say that we’re both kindred spirits–two Asian- American expats finding themselves in a surreal Dutch world while being in love with our respective Dutch boys and planning weddings from afar.

The TwoSixty My cousin Grace is arguably one of the most creative people I’ve ever met. Though she may not blog much, she never fails to amaze me with her latest art project. Not to forget to mention creative, off-beat, writing style. Sometimes I wonder why she hasn’t become a designer herself.

If you know anyone else who you find to be a “Kreativ blogger”, please don’t hesitate to pass it forward. I’m sure that they would truly appreciate the support.

These past two days have definitely proved to be another lesson on how truly small the world has become due to the digital age.

How awesome is it to stumble upon a college friend’s wedding from one of the wedding blogs that you stalk regularly (via google reader)? Though I have to admit that I’m not too surprised–she was always so stylish, creative and a natural beauty in her own right.

{photos taken by Preston Davis}

Not being able to contain my excitement about her wedding getting attention from one of the most popular wedding websites (a true honor), I contacted her on facebook.  The next day, her  up-and-coming, talented photographer, Preston Davis from Divine Order Photography messaged me through the social networking website.

I was actually flattered that he took the effort to introduce himself and inquire about my impending nuptials. Granted, some people might be taken aback by the solicitation from vendors. However, his down-to-earth personality and professionalism was clearly evident in his message–two of the most important traits that brides-to-be would be blessed to have on their very special day. While a wedding day may be only a fleeting moment in one’s entire lifetime, the pictures from that very day are sentimental tokens that you can look back to for the rest of your life. For San Francisco Bay Area brides still undecided about photography, I highly recommend checking out Preston’s portfolio and reviews. They are truly artistic with the right touch of photojournalism.

I personally have a not-so-secret fire burning deep down inside for my own wedding photographer and can’t wait to see her again in December for our engagement pictures.  I’ll refrain from writing more about her because she deserves a special post.

During these past 48 hours, our very own wedding videographer, Andrew from MSV Studios commented on my blog. I was quite surprised, but incredibly excited to connect with him in the digital world. He definitely scored major points with Bram and I,  with his comment further reassuring ourselves that we were definitely in “safe hands”. Due to time constraints, Bram and I were unable to actually meet with Andrew. In fact, we honestly had not seriously considered videography and even considered it to be an unnecessary expense. Putting complete faith and trust in MB, our event planner, we hired him.

One of the biggest regrets brides and grooms have is not getting a professional videographer. Homemade videos, even with HD quality camcorders, have disappointed one too many couples who want to relive their special day. My advice is to leave it in the hands of not only a professional, but someone who truly is passionate and talented in the art of videography. Bram and I can’t wait to also work with Andrew, part of our  all-star wedding dream team.

Check out Andrew’s demo video:

MSV Studio Demo 2009

Studio MSV 2009 Demo Video from andrew msv on Vimeo.

Sometimes there are weddings that are filled with so much love and beauty that simply looking at the pictures evokes a certain nostalgia. My friend Haley and her dearest husband Brent’s wedding is the perfect example. Haley is one of the sweetest ladies I’ve ever come across and her attention to detail is quite impressive. I must also confess that I have a girl-crush on her incredibly talented photographer Stephanie Williams who can capture images that inspires one to get lost in a dream…

Haley and Brent were married on April 24, 2009 surrounded by their closest family and friends.

Vendors:

Dress-Melissa Sweet
Bridesmaids dresses- J Crew and Betsey Johnson
Shoes-Chinese Laundry
Ceremony Site-Alcazar Garden, Balboa Park
Reception Site- The Prado, San Diego
Photographer-Stephanie Williams with Next Exit Photography

Carolyn Besette and John F. Kennedy Jr. were married in an intimate ceremony in a tiny wood-frame Brack Chapel of the First African Baptist Church on Cumberland Island (Georgia) on September 21, 1996.

I absolutely adore this picture because it simply resonates an honest portrayal of two people hopelessly in love who only moments before made a lifetime commitment to one another.  Perhaps what immortalizes this image even more was the tragic fate these two met just a couple months shy of their three year anniversary.

So while I am guilty of getting lost in indulging myself with wedding details, I’m easily reminded by my best-friend, my worst critic, and adoring loyal fan- Bram about why I’m getting married:

To be “home” when he holds me his arms,  his perpetual lateness, his childlike curiosity, his ambitious nature, his need for quietness (maximum two social obligations a week), his sensuality, his quirky humor, irresistible dorkiness,  undeniable prettyboy nature, his countless sweet gestures of affection, his openness to a different way of life…

Most of all, I know that he’s “the one” because he’s the one who I can  mutually sacrifice with to make our dreams come true and to live through burdens and challenges of daily life as if heaven was on earth. He’s my partner-in-crime. My one and only.

Our perfect wedding is one where our closest friends and family stand by our side to witness the sanctity of our marriage. Its just that simple.

“I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
a church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
he said one that would make me his wife.”

Unknown Author

As an American expat (Netherlands) scheduled to have a wedding back home (San Francisco), planning a wedding and preparing for a marriage can be a bit unnerving. I used quotation marks because a lot of the actual work behind the wedding is done by our wedding coordinator/event planner Michelle who we hired to specifically create a custom-designed wedding just for us. We put our complete faith in her to do her magic, bring our vision to life, and to alleviate all the stress. Through this entire process, she  has put in a lot of care to truly understand what makes Bram and me  ”us”.

While I do have the support of wonderful, caring friends (bridesmaids), I do not want to drive them utterly mad with my neurosis. I just can’t help it–I love details and all the opportunities for self-discovery and team building! My partner-in-crime is my Dutch fiance, who unlike the stereotypical non-chalant groom, is equally excited and involved, if not more opinionated about all the finer details.

Along the way, I’ve manage to stumble upon equally minded  brides and have not only shared wedding ideas with, but formed special friendships. After all, who else could go on and on about chivari chairs, peonies, and color themes than other bride-to-be? Through all the laughter, frustrations, concerns, and excitement, all of us ladies eagerly anticipate(d) each other’s weddings and gush over the final product.

The moment I ran into Jen, I knew that she would have an unforgettable, sophisticated and chic wedding. She simply resonated “style” and had such a self-assured, yet warm sweet personality about her.

I was right. Jen and Fred were married on June 6, 2009 at Beauliue Garden, Rutherford, California (Napa Valley).

Her very own “wedding dream team” (not all vendors listed)-

Photographer: Anna Kuperberg
Flowers: Asiel Design
Caterer: Paula LeDuc

Enjoy her wedding eye-candy!

(all images  are from the wonderfully talented photographer Anna Kuperberg).

Dress: Monique Lhuillier

Why heelllloo gorgeous…
Shoes: Christian Louboutin

I absolutely love this image! You can simply feel the children waiting in anticipation..

Its all in the details:

Thanks Jen and Fred for such an inspirational wedding!

In times of the Great Recession, any cost-saving announcements for the budget bride is a much welcomed blessing. No matter what the financial situation, what bride doesn’t dream of wearing a beautiful white dress for that very special day?

Monique Lhuillier, a well established couture bridal designer celebrated around the world, is launching a new label called Bliss this Fall. The new collection will include all the classic Lhuillier styles that women have come to fall in love with–modern and stylish yet alluding to traditional romantic sentimentality but priced between $2300-$3500 in order to appeal to a larger group of women. Granted this is still a lot of mula and perhaps not realistic for the practical, money-conscious bride… But who says one can’t dream? Sigh.

Monique Lhuillier is also making her coveted bridemaid’s dresses available online: shop.moniquelhuillier.com. I love her bridesmaids dresses in the sense that they stray away from the all too traditional once-worn identical, unflattering dresses that we’ve all had to wear sooner or later.

I can’t wait to finally go “bridesmaids dress shopping” with my ladies. I am leaning towards each of them choosing their own style because I want them to feel gorgeous standing by my side while I marry my true love. I just hold the autonomy to choose what color and maybe the length…

I’ve been blessed to have these ladies come to my life and hopefully, with some determination, find a dress that they would love to wear again.

(My then two-year old baby brother, the coin bearer, and cousin, the ring bearer, circa 1994 )

Coin Ceremony

Arrahe (ar-rah-heh) n. Spanish word arras meaning  “earnest wealth”

The ceremony of the Arrhae traditionally represents  the husband’s dedication to the family’s welfare.  The modern day significance is  the mutual hope for wealth, prosperity, and security as the newly married couple build their lives together and start a new family. Aside from having a traditional ring-bearer, the Pilipino wedding also incorporates a coin-bearer to present to the couple after the exchanging of wedding rings.

The coins also represent 13 important marriage virtues: love, harmony, cooperation, commitment, peach, happiness, trust, respect, caring, wisdom, joy, wholeness and nurturing.

The couple cups their hands together intertwined and the priest dribbles thirteen coins into the groom’s open palms. The bride and groom then take turns placing 13 coins in each others hands. The trickling of the arrhae is a sign of all the marriage virtues honoring fidelity that is irrevocably bestowed upon the couple and finally completes the marriage contract.

(August 31, 1981. Julio & Thelma (my parents) married by a Catholic Bishop)

The most important aspect of any wedding is the ceremony itself. While it is easy to get lost in all the rapture of having an unforgettable wedding reception of a lifetime, one should never forget the actual reason why people are gathered together–to witness two people make a lifelong pledge of fidelity to one another within the sanctity of marriage. While it is important to represent our cultures (Dutch, Filipino and American) in the wedding ceremony, I’m afraid that we will be more sentimentally biased towards the Filipino and American side.  Nonetheless, the Dutch culture will be represented by the free flowing alcohol at the reception.

To those unfamiliar with Catholic Filipino weddings,  perhaps the best way to describe the hour-long mass is to think of it as a performance with various actors, complete with centuries old traditions, lots of symbolism, Spanish-inspired rituals,  timeless words of wisdom, and of course, lots of music.

A popular contemporary American blessing also acknowledges the importance of family and friends in the lives of the married couple, stating:

” Each of you, by your presence here today, is being called upon to uphold their choice in loving one another. You must always stand beside them, never between them. Offer them your love and support; not your judgment. Encourage them when they need you to, and listen to them when they ask for advice. This is how you may honor this bond into which they enter today. “

The Filipinos, notorious for their love of drama,  take it just one step (or arguably more) further…

Let the Show Begin (Elements of the Catholic Filipino Wedding):

Principal Sponsors (Ninongs and Ninangs) Principal sponsors are married couples that play the role of being “God-parents” to the bride and groom.  Usually this honor is reserved for uncles and aunts  and/or close family friends who will guide the young couple through the trials and tribulations of married life. They are avid, experienced, moral champions who happily share the wisdom they have gained through a long and happy marriage.

(Ninangs, 2nd row, often wearing beige, white or cream colored dresses. Photo by Mango Red)

Secondary Sponsors (Veil, Cord and Candle) There are three pairs of married secondary sponsors:

• Veil Sponsors (to “clothe” us as one)
• Cord Sponsors (to “bind” us in love)
• Candle Sponsors (to “light” our path)

All three rituals are basically physical representations of the couple becoming “one”.  Secondary sponsors are often siblings, cousins, and/or close friends of the couple who are happily married and thus also serve as “role models”.

As part of the hour-long wedding mass, there is a particular point after the homily but before the exchange of vows where the symbolic rituals of the veil, cord, and candle take place. More often than not, the priest will describe the significance of each ritual, reminding and educating the guests about the special rites that are going to be witnessed.

Veil Ceremony (to “clothe” us as one)
During this time, the bride and groom kneel together to be “clothed as one“, symbolizing the union of their two souls in self-surrender. The Veil Sponsors will pin the veil from the groom’s shoulders, extending to cover the bride’s head and finally pinning the other end on the bride’s shoulders. The veil is a different veil than the one on the bride’s head.

Cord Ceremony (to “bind” us in love)
After the veil is securely placed over the bride and groom, a cord  (made out of either silk rope, flowers or coins) is draped over the shoulders of the couple.The cord, shaped like the eternity symbol (a figure eight), represents the love and friendship that bind the couple within the sanctity of matrimony for all eternity. It represents the spiritual bonding of the two souls as one in the Sacrament of Marriage.

Candle Ceremony (to “light” our path)
The Candle Ceremony is actually  the first and last symbolic ritual performed. The parents of the bride and groom, or the candle sponsors, light the taper candles on either side of the unity candle. The two lights symbolize the gift of life that each respective family gave to the bride and groom.

(Photo by Paul Vincent)

Later on during the mass, after the veil and cord ceremony, the bride and groom use the lit tapers to light the unity candle together.   The gift of a new life together as husband and wife, with the blessings from the two families, is represented by the lighting of the unity candle.

Are any of you also planning on incorporating different cultural elements in your wedding?

You may also enjoy:

Filipino Catholic Wedding (Logistics)

Filipino Catholic Wedding Traditions (II)

I haven’t been feeling well lately (semi-understatement). Needless to say, its so easy to get down and depressed. What can a sick “bride-to-be” do while on bed rest? Find inspirational elements for a wedding of course! Check out the video below:

I would absolutely love to have been a guest at that wedding. Its definitely unforgettable, creative and fun. Its also very “American”. Thoughts? =)