(August 31, 1981. Julio & Thelma (my parents) married by a Catholic Bishop)

The most important aspect of any wedding is the ceremony itself. While it is easy to get lost in all the rapture of having an unforgettable wedding reception of a lifetime, one should never forget the actual reason why people are gathered together–to witness two people make a lifelong pledge of fidelity to one another within the sanctity of marriage. While it is important to represent our cultures (Dutch, Filipino and American) in the wedding ceremony, I’m afraid that we will be more sentimentally biased towards the Filipino and American side.  Nonetheless, the Dutch culture will be represented by the free flowing alcohol at the reception.

To those unfamiliar with Catholic Filipino weddings,  perhaps the best way to describe the hour-long mass is to think of it as a performance with various actors, complete with centuries old traditions, lots of symbolism, Spanish-inspired rituals,  timeless words of wisdom, and of course, lots of music.

A popular contemporary American blessing also acknowledges the importance of family and friends in the lives of the married couple, stating:

” Each of you, by your presence here today, is being called upon to uphold their choice in loving one another. You must always stand beside them, never between them. Offer them your love and support; not your judgment. Encourage them when they need you to, and listen to them when they ask for advice. This is how you may honor this bond into which they enter today. “

The Filipinos, notorious for their love of drama,  take it just one step (or arguably more) further…

Let the Show Begin (Elements of the Catholic Filipino Wedding):

Principal Sponsors (Ninongs and Ninangs) Principal sponsors are married couples that play the role of being “God-parents” to the bride and groom.  Usually this honor is reserved for uncles and aunts  and/or close family friends who will guide the young couple through the trials and tribulations of married life. They are avid, experienced, moral champions who happily share the wisdom they have gained through a long and happy marriage.

(Ninangs, 2nd row, often wearing beige, white or cream colored dresses. Photo by Mango Red)

Secondary Sponsors (Veil, Cord and Candle) There are three pairs of married secondary sponsors:

• Veil Sponsors (to “clothe” us as one)
• Cord Sponsors (to “bind” us in love)
• Candle Sponsors (to “light” our path)

All three rituals are basically physical representations of the couple becoming “one”.  Secondary sponsors are often siblings, cousins, and/or close friends of the couple who are happily married and thus also serve as “role models”.

As part of the hour-long wedding mass, there is a particular point after the homily but before the exchange of vows where the symbolic rituals of the veil, cord, and candle take place. More often than not, the priest will describe the significance of each ritual, reminding and educating the guests about the special rites that are going to be witnessed.

Veil Ceremony (to “clothe” us as one)
During this time, the bride and groom kneel together to be “clothed as one“, symbolizing the union of their two souls in self-surrender. The Veil Sponsors will pin the veil from the groom’s shoulders, extending to cover the bride’s head and finally pinning the other end on the bride’s shoulders. The veil is a different veil than the one on the bride’s head.

Cord Ceremony (to “bind” us in love)
After the veil is securely placed over the bride and groom, a cord  (made out of either silk rope, flowers or coins) is draped over the shoulders of the couple.The cord, shaped like the eternity symbol (a figure eight), represents the love and friendship that bind the couple within the sanctity of matrimony for all eternity. It represents the spiritual bonding of the two souls as one in the Sacrament of Marriage.

Candle Ceremony (to “light” our path)
The Candle Ceremony is actually  the first and last symbolic ritual performed. The parents of the bride and groom, or the candle sponsors, light the taper candles on either side of the unity candle. The two lights symbolize the gift of life that each respective family gave to the bride and groom.

(Photo by Paul Vincent)

Later on during the mass, after the veil and cord ceremony, the bride and groom use the lit tapers to light the unity candle together.   The gift of a new life together as husband and wife, with the blessings from the two families, is represented by the lighting of the unity candle.

Are any of you also planning on incorporating different cultural elements in your wedding?

You may also enjoy:

Filipino Catholic Wedding (Logistics)

Filipino Catholic Wedding Traditions (II)

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 10th, 2009 at 7:18 pm and is filed under California "Homecoming" Wedding. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.