My “Two Cents”
I read something today on my favorite forum that struck a chord deep inside me:
Hey all! After two months of back and forth, I decided to be a big girl and call it quits. I got clues that it wasn’t going to be the type of marriage that I wanted. He made the statement that his family was him and his daughter. I said, “Hey. What about me?” He said that I should *know* that I am his family. Oh really???
I should have walked away a long time ago, but my relationship was pretty much “secure”. If I had stayed there and put myself last, then I would have had what I thought would be “wonderful”.
Preparing for what is possibly going to be an unforgettable, extravagant wedding comes only secondary to having a wonderful, long lasting marriage. For those who do not know me, they might easily perceive my attention towards all the details of my upcoming wedding as superficial and unnecessary. They cannot understand that for me, its not about the wedding as much as preparing for a lifetime partnership with my soul-mate. The care that I put into wedding planning is the same care that I would put into my marriage–patience, understanding, lots of thought, sacrifice and most importantly, love.
Marriage, after all, in the Catholic tradition, can be considered a sacrament of sacrifice. An insightful priest once told me that its not about how incredible you feel with the guy or how much he makes you laugh, that should be the deciding factor, but rather, how much are you willing to sacrifice for your marriage. How much are you willing to put your marriage first over your own personal comfort?
I’m willing to sacrifice everything for my fiance and my family.I, however, am drawing the line with the amount of unnecessary sacrifice I am going to make. I am not going to put myself last over people who do not care about my feelings or who do not consider me family.
And if there is that nagging feeling inside of me that tells me that my fiance cannot make the same sacrifices for me, our marriage, our family– his priority– than I do not have the heart to go through with the wedding, no matter how far I’ve already gone through all the pomp and circumstance.
I would rather be alone, happily independent (and probably insecure and lonely) than be trapped in an unhappy marriage where I come last.
To the random woman who courageously made that post, thank-you for your sincerity and painfully beautiful honesty about life and the potential devastating consequences of an unhappy marriage.
To the pursuit of happiness, may we all find it in the arms of a loving good, honest man and most importantly, in the comfort of our own strenght and love for our own selves.
