For the next 48 hours, Oprah Winfrey is giving out 8 free songs just in time to get you into the Holiday Spirit.

http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20081118_tows_holiday/2

Enjoy!

There are people who know exactly how to eloquently express their own “cultural observations”. My friend Matthijs is one of them. Enjoy!

Matthij’s personal musings on “The UnDutchables” in his own words:

Colin White and Laurie Boucke wrote a great book in 1989 called “The UnDutchables” which, as they describe in their forward, is “a psychological survival kit for expats” or “the lowdown on Holland.” While reading it, I experienced at times the urge to cringe, to laugh, to cry and/or to throw the book across the room. It is so dead on in dissecting Dutch social mores that I even got defensive. But then I said to myself: “everyone here considers me American, so what do I have to worry about?” It’s handy to have dual nationality. That way I can always take credit for the good parts of America and Holland and disown the bad ones. As I always say when Dutch people ask me to which country I feel I belong: “When I hear Bruce Springsteen, I am American, when I see George Bush, I am Dutch.” 

Nevertheless, the book got me to thinking and I have come up with a new section of “truths” based on my own personal observations which the authors may consider inserting into an annex of one of their forthcoming periodic updates:

• In America, the baseline answer when one has been invited to a party is “yes”, even when one doesn’t intend to come. In Holland, the baseline answer is “no”, though they may surprise you and reconsider.
• Americans demonstrate that they trust you by sharing intimate details about their lives the very first time you meet them. Anyone who does in The Netherlands will be distrusted immediately. “If he is so loose with his own secrets,” they wonder, “how will he be with mine?”
• American nurses feel the patient’s pain. Dutch nurses think that by doing so, they will only make things worse.
• American drivers wave to other drivers who have treated them with courtesy. Dutch drivers will only sometimes wave if they are conscious of having been discourteous.
• In America, the customer is king. In Holland, a customer who acts like a king will quickly be treated as a pauper.
• Americans often greet their new next door neighbors, unannounced, with home-made cookies or some other dish from their kitchen. You only do this to your neighbors in Holland if you want to scare the shit out of them.
• It is still quite acceptable for the Dutch to scold misbehaving children not their own. Only Americans with high-powered lawyers would even dare such a thing.
• Though American women love talking about sex with all sorts of people, even men they have just met in a bar, they have lots of hang-ups when it comes to actually doing it. Dutch women have almost no hang-ups when doing it, but only share the details with their best girlfriends.
• In America, authoritarian managers are feared but can still be respected. In Holland, they are hated and quietly undermined.
• In America, the superficial friendship is the very oil on the gears of society. In The Netherlands, it is the cog on the wheel.
• Most Americans have a vague notion that religious leaders, whomever they may be, are persons worthy of respect. Most Dutch people have a vague notion that they deserve disrespect. Both are unsure about how to express this, however.
• The Dutch often describe themselves as being spontaneous, though they haven’t a fucking clue what that word means. Americans are naturally spontaneous and consequently almost never talk about it.
• The Dutch are jealous and thus disdainful the American’s natural openness. Americans familiar with Dutch culture are jealous and thus disdainful of their comforting homogeneity.
• An American receiving an unexpected generosity will offer profuse thanks followed by specific commitments regarding the repayment of their debt, which they will conveniently forget about later on. A Dutch person receiving the same will, if they can get away with it, not say a word of thanks, resenting already the implication that you have tried to put them in your debt. They will also very likely consider you an idiot from that point onwards.

picture courtesy of Bram’s iphone.

It’s that time of the year again. Yesterday, as Bram and I were enjoying a morning walk around the center of Utrecht, we happen to stumble upon Sinterklaas and his Zwarte Piets. After being here for almost two years, the sight of seeing Dutch people paint their faces black, wear bright red lipstick,  put on a woolly wig, and present themselves in 16th-century Spanish clown costumes still gets under my skin.

                                             From you love me & its heavenly by Carlene

Today, I am proud to be an American. The one place in the world where it doesn’t matter where you come from, but who you are and what you stand for.  God Bless the USA.

A couple of years ago, I stumbled upon a college friend of mine from Berkeley who also happened to find herself at the University of Pennsylvania. She sent me this link to help give me some inspiration. From time to time, I always like to go back to this short, but inspirational video when I’m going through a difficult time,  feeling lost, or just remind myself again what’s really important.

After all, having a personal relationship with God is a constant process. Enjoy.

After months of going back and forth, Bram and I have finally decided our wedding color(s). The main color is going to green (”refreshing green”) with highlights of fuchsia, white, and black. Think of modern meets classic.  The “inspiration board” contains images of what we want to accomplish with our wedding, incorporating Filipino-American and Dutch wedding traditions, our closest family and friends, great food and wine, lots of love, and a party that people will never forget.

From now on, Bram and I will be “busy” looking for:

1. A wedding planner. I finally submitted today. I know exactly what I want, but realistically, with a “blossoming career” and long distance wedding plans (9 hour time difference),  hiring a personal wedding assistant is perhaps the wisest choice.

2. Venues! We will be looking in the Napa Valley area and downtown San Francisco.  Once we have a venue, we can officially set the date and send out save the date cards, and later formal invitations.

3. Wedding Photographer. We “heart” two particular wedding photographers.

4.  Finally, selecting our entire bridal entourage. Pilipino-themed wedding entourage that is. This deserves an entire new post all together. =)

Yay! We’re finally doing it.

According to my insightful fellow Health Economist (senior consultant),

Indeed, air pollution is high in the Netherlands (especially in the Randstad, a geographic area consisting of Amsterdam, Rotterdam, and Utrecht). But…

The amount of air pollution is strongly and positivily correlated with life expectancy. Actually, it is quite good compared to other parts of Europe.

 You can even observe that in the Netherlands, the average life expectancy is highest in the Randstad. Conclusion…

Polluted air is good for your health. Even better if you live in the Randstad. 

I love my internship. 

Images courtesy of: Ryan Phillips, wedding photographer

Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meaning can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Even before Bram proposed to me, I already started playfully planning my wedding. Not such a big surprise for someone who has had a LOT of exposure to weddings early on. On my “wedding resume”, I have been a flower girl six times, a junior bridesmaids once, and a bridesmaids three times.

I am even not-so secretly enjoying my relatively long engagement. It gives me ample time to really prepare for my wedding as well as responsibly save. The amusing aspect of it all is that Bram, unlike the stereotypical groom-to-be, actually has an opinion about all matters wedding related. Down to the tiniest detail.

During my spare time from playing “Domestic goddess” and “brilliant, ambitious student”, I tag inspirational pictures from the 50 or so wedding-related websites. To make my life easier, I simply have added them as subscriptions that automatically update on Google Reader . Since them, I’ve accumulated an extensive library of different wedding styles that have appealed to me. Bram and I hoped to do some serious venue shopping during our Christmas vacation and now that December is fast approaching, I need to start getting more organized. Thus, the first wedding inspiration board (with many more to come) has materialized on my blog.

Planning a wedding in San Francisco is quite stressful, and of course, definitely not drama free (we’re seriously leaning towards a no child policy). Nonetheless, I am definitely having a lot of fun planning it with Bram. Thus far, we’ve decided to have a relatively small wedding (hopefully only 75 guests) with personal touches, great food, unforgettable wine, and being around our closest family and friends.

It’s no secret that I am not particularly fond of the sound of “Dutch”.  I am not comfortable with the guttural sounding diphthongs, or the dramatically different sentence structures. Perhaps part of my road-block in learning Dutch also resides in my inherent fear of being trapped here forever and my persistent experiences with culture shock.

Learning a language doesn’t only require the memorization of different vocabulary, sentence structures and caveats, but also about being open to a different way of thinking, of being. I’m afraid that for the longest time, I didn’t want to think in Dutch. I didn’t want to try to become Dutch.

After all, no matter how much I culturally integrate, I will always be an “allochtoon”. For the language enthusiasts, its a combination of two Greek words that literally means “from another world”.

However, the longer I find myself staying (and settling) in the Netherlands, the more I find it embarrassing that I cannot have a proper conversation in Dutch. Plus, I’m also loosing my patience living life basically as a functioning illiterate. While I can read, write and converse in English, Tagalog, and Spanish (though a little rusty), I can’t seem to properly navigate as an independent adult in the Dutch world.

I’ve once calculated that all my years of private school (preschool, elementary, high school), college, a post-baccalaureate program, and continuing graduate school amounted to over $200,000.  With so much money invested into my “education”, my parents had hoped for so much more for me than struggling to be a functioning illiterate.

To be fair, I have decided to stay in this country for at least the next 5 years. Let’s just say the financial instability in my home country (land of the free, home of the brave) is experiencing some economic turmoil right now.

Furthermore, I am marrying a Dutch guy. My attempts in learning Dutch thus far has all been but futile. Learning a new language while trying to successfully balance integrating into a new, drastically different culture, completing a master’s degree, and maintaining a loving relationship while also being on the road to self-discovery and self-preservation is not exactly easy.At the end of the day, my independent Dutch lessons get pushed aside.

If time was on my side, I would enroll in a Dutch language program taught at the university. I am afraid, however, that I just don’t have the energy to dedicate some serious studying to the language.

The solution? The Regina Coeli Institute in Vught, the Netherlands, otherwise referred to as “being sent to the nuns to be straightened out”. It’s actually a private language institution dedicated to teaching different languages to corporate types who lack the luxury of time. Supposedly, one intensive week of 12 daily hours of private, custom tailored language lessons.

I’ll let you know about the whole process. If everything goes according to plans, I’ll be away for a week in November with my heart set on learning Dutch, crash-course style.